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I faked as much excitement as I could. But what Ror was really thinking was: Maria and I had been friends for 17 years, since we met at secondary school aged We were always in touch, meeting up at least once a fortnight, and calling each other most days to catch up, rant and laugh about our lives.

When she met her boyfriend Mo last year, I was genuinely thrilled for her. My first impressions of Mo were great. But a few weeks into their relationship, things between Maria and I took take a strange turn.

She became 'too busy' to meet up or talk on the phone. She replaced drinks with me for hanging out with Mo and his friends.

Looking for her new best friend

Mo was her first serious boyfriend. I had recently broken up with my boyfriend when they met but, even when I was in a long-term Lookng, I still saw Maria regularly. Despite feeling rejected, I tried to keep our friendship going.

I called and suggested meeting up and going out, just like before. But she never seemed interested.

All she seemed to want to talk about was Mo. It hurt.

After four months, I started to feel really lonely, at a time when I needed her more than ever. Experiences become more subjective, fate takes us on different paths, and geographical distance and pesky Looking for her new best friend have to be negotiated, too. Navigating that changing terrain means learning to celebrate the ebb and flow of experience, enjoying the periods when your paths converge and learning to stay afloat independently when you drift apart.

Meeting a partner, having children, changing job, moving location are the likeliest occurrences in an ever-changing world. Giving those you love the necessary room to achieve their potential while maintaining a connection are skills we need to become adept at as we mature.

Battling Canute style against the tides will only leave you ftiend frustrated. The greatest threat to our happiness is often our misplaced determination to control our destiny.

We need to learn to be shape shifters, embracing ups and downs, fulfilment and frustration Looking for her new best friend people who move in and out of our lives. A hamster on a wheel endlessly treading the same space is the definition of hell, but we should be equally fearful about trying to control the LLooking of change and where and when it occurs.

If you have a dilemma, send a brief email to mariella.

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Until she drops the casual bombshell: Yep, her best friend is a guy. A straight Loojing. What if he hates you and tries to sabotage your relationship?

Suddenly, all your worst instincts kick in and you feel caveman levels of Lookihg. How can you handle this? Never fear, we got this.

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